“This year has started so fast and so busy and nothing is coming through” ~ she told me in front of a cup of tea and morsels at Tea Time. I know my friend very well, she skips and jumps from one activity to another, one life mess to another, from one toxic situation to another. She is not happy about some of her friends, her work, some of the things her grown-up kids do and who knows what else. She doesn’t keep her promises, makes appointments, then cancels them, often a few hours before when the other person can’t do anything about it and the worst thing…she doesn’t learn from her mistakes. They say that true friends never hold back when helping one another trying to resolve personal issues. Well, when I have done that, my friends have taken it the wrong way, got offended and even stopped seeing me. This time, at Tea Time, I wanted to lay it out as I felt it. After all, outside was grey and rainy, inside the tea atmosphere was cozy and conducive to confessions.
(Click on each photo to view it larger).
I can’t help referring to my interior design profession when I give tips on life management. Life to me is exactly like decorating a house, it’s all about rearranging, organizing, editing, refurbishing, prioritizing and spice it up. Giving my friend examples of how to beautify a house, didn’t feel I was preaching to her. I don’t have a perfect life, nobody does, but to get my life to the point it feels comfortable to me, took many years of studying people, eliminating toxic situations and old beliefs, reaching goals and driving my thinking toward positivity.
My suggestion was to view her life as a home decorating. If we don’t clean the house, things keep accumulating, the clutter grows, the mirrors don’t shine, the cabinets are sticky, the bed is not made, the dishes are dirty in the sink, we allow the house to take over our life, we allow the house to confuse us, and at that point we might even feel not to return home anymore. Unfortunately, some people life is just like this description, they don’t even want to be in it. The only thing to do to save a disorderly life is to tackle one problem at a time, just as a decorator would tackle one room at the time.
First, we focus on eliminating all the useless items, then clean the space to make it livable and finally organize it. Once we see a place that breathes again, we feel encouraged to go to the next room and repeat the process. Little by little, the house returns to shine releasing that pleasure of claiming each room as our space that was long denied.
Do you see the analogy of a life that is not satisfying with a disorderly house?
My friend needs exactly this. She needs to rearrange her thoughts, clean up her beliefs, make plans with a calendar in her hands, eliminate all the people and situations that are longer serving a purpose and pursue whatever strikes her fancy. Those who will want to be in her life will follow, the rest will get lost in the editing process.
At one point during our conversation, I had the feeling she got offended. Next day, she sent me a message saying I am a Goddess. Yeah, right!
Living a satisfying life takes a lot of commitment, structure, and diligence. Ciao,
Valentina
http://www.valentinadesigns.com
In my 29th years of design business, I am having more fun than ever, experience eliminates stress and dictates the pace of work. I am evolving in different directions while still helping people realizing their dream spaces in homes, offices, interiors and exteriors. Colors are the main focus of my business today, changing people’s energy and life force just by introducing them to colors they would have never imagined. I am on TV once a month, that is my own TV show produced under my label Valentina Design Universe, bringing fun topics to my audience. https://valentinadesignuniverse.com
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Feb 04, 2019 @ 10:16:22
That is a good way to explain it, Valentina. I think everyone needs to apply it to their lives, to one degree or another. We work at it, but results come quicker for some people than for others. Yet if someone is miserable, and they don’t even try… Like so many who have complained to me… I know it is frustrating. Hugs on the wing.
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Feb 04, 2019 @ 17:14:31
With this particular friend is even more frustrating. She asks me for help, she listens and agrees with me but applies nothing to her life. Every week, she is back to square 1. Do I spent much time with her? Not really, once a year we have lunch or tea together.
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